Day 233: The value of language

14052013

I have been thinking a lot about language. I was just now watching korean TV programs with some people at my hostel and we were talking about how weird it is to watch TV when we don't understand the language: “we can't really say if this is comedy or not”. But as I was looking at the cheerful soap operas, dramatic movies and sugary commercials, I realized that I did understand them, that which was essential about them: that which was actually lived out in the flesh. I had no idea what the idols were singing about, but I did see what they were attempting to portray and whether they believed in their facade or not. I did not know what the character was sad about, but I did see the tears on her face; I didn't know what shocked her, but I saw the way she looked at the TV and trembled. I didn't know what the lady was angry about, but I did understand the tone of her shouting voice. Shortly put: I saw action, I saw movement – and that was enough for me to understand what was actually going on. The details of the motives as expressed in words were not relevant to what was actually happening in matter.

While I've been here I've also got a glimpse into how koreans (and other asians) perceive the english language. I've realized that it has been almost completely stripped of its practical value as a tool of communication, and now it is most commonly used as a trinket – a cheap jewel; some words have been charged with special emotions, feelings and meanings that may have nothing to do with the actual meaning/usage of the word. Thus we end up with cafes and restaurants and shops and clothes with english words all over them, yet none of these people adorning themselves with them cannot actually speak english. The value of this specific language has been stripped to uselessness. (I don't know about korean's/asian's attitude towards learning foreign languages in general or if this is just a thing towards english).

So I realized that I have also valued some things about language more than the actual communicative value. For example, I see myself reacting every time a word is mispronounced or misspelled Here I react to the language not being spoken “my way” - the way I perceive it to be “correct” - and do not consider whether what was being said was comprehendible or not within current context. Having a common set of rules for a language is necessary and has immense practical value, but there must be another way of supporting others' knowledge of languages than acting trough reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that expressing motives with words is necessary so that others would fully understand what is happening, not realizing that the matter uses no words and is still fully comprehendible by simply being HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that to express the specific workings of the mind is necessary – not realizing that what actually matters is that which happens in matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that emotions/feelings have value in themselves, not realizing that what actually matters is what happens in flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to the mind than the matter that is being moved by it – the consequences that need to be treated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to things being “incorrect” and “out of place” when I have read someone misspell a word or heard someone mispronounce a word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with self-judgement every time I have misspelled or mispronounced a word, feeling like I “have to” correct myself so that I would be aligned with “reality” again (what I perceive and believe to be the “real” way of using a language).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to construct my reality based on how I have been told things are “for real”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and believe the way english was taught to me in school to be the “real”/”true”/”correct” way of using english language.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the practical value of a language is to work as a tool of communication between people (beings with higher cognitive functions / a mind) so that we could share our experience with each other, and that even though using language along the same rules has a crucial role in this so that a word is understood similarly between all participants, there is no universally “real”, “true” or “correct” way of using a language because words are just symbols with meanings we have agreed to charge them with - like empty cups filled with varying liquids – and that us having a hegemonic way of using a language at this point in time does not mean that this way is the one and only and that language cannot be redefined.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, when and as I have heard a mispronunciation / read a misspelling, to only see my reaction to things being “out of place” instead of looking at whether this mistake was relative to whether the other got himself understood or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to correct others' mispronunciations / misspellings from the starting point of wanting to “put things in place” instead of looking at whether it is relevant or not to correct the other at this moment in terms of comprehensibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create stability into a world of chaos by organizing the language I use and others use as “correctly” as possible, allowing no flexibility in the usage of words without seeing, realizing and understanding that the meanings and forms of words are bound to change along with the people who use them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only think and see “incorrect!” when a word is misspelled / mispronounced, not looking at what is actually causing the other to use the language in a way that is different from mine.

When and as I react to a mispronunciation or a misspelling - by myself or another – I commit myself to stop, breathe and remind myself that I am reacting to my worldview being challenged. I realize I am holding onto language as an unfaltering structure to compensate for my lack of inner stability. I stabilize myself in breath and look at how and why the word was used “incorrectly” to see whether the reason was such that it is necessary to be “corrected” - for example, if the word was understood similarly by all participants it may not need to be straightened out.