tiistai 30. lokakuuta 2012

Day 39: Participating in thoughts


As I went through yesterday's realizations about being alone with myself and then listened to the video on the '21 day breathing challenge' and started to experiment with breath in a new way, I today came to a new realization. Yesterday I attempted to stay within breath for as long as possible while actually doing something – I chose a simple task to wash the dishes. The first thing I noticed was that I have to reaaally slow down to be able to stay in breath while in actual movement – but the next one, the more profound one, was when I actually found myself within my body with the mind completely silent. What happened today as the state has glimpse by glimpse continued to prove its existence is that I realized within my actual practical physical being the difference between believing your thoughts and participating in them, and seeing your thoughts as a product of the mind and the mind being simply a tool – that the mind is not who I am, the mind is not me. What's actually me is that which is here when I breathe within movement. What's actually me is not that which talks in my head, even if I talk stuff in my head that's true, because even that is simply a result of the mind processing the abstract into words – I am that abstract. To call it a “soul” or a “spirit” or to try to explain it as anything else but presence would be a limitation.

As I investigated myself throughout the day I noticed that from within this realization it is much easier to stop my participation in thoughts, search for their starting point and let them go, as I don't get stuck with pondering on whether a thought was true or false. HONK – they're neither! As I return to my physical being here sensing my entire body within and as breath I will know whether I'm living honesty or dishonesty, and what my physical tells me is real, not that which the mind paints over the physical. It is quite awesome to locate this point of self-support, and now it's a matter of consistency and patience to return myself to that state in each and every breath. May take a while, lol, but now I at least see it can be done.

Will continue with SF.

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