14062013
I just received information that I have
been accepted into the university I applied to and took an entrance
exam for. My reaction was of joy and relief and that of utter
excitement. I am relieved because waiting for the results has built
up anticipation within me and because this information now provides
me a guideline for how I will begin to re-direct my life, which is
something I have had to put off for a while. I am happy because
getting into a university provides me with opportunities I have not
had before and which I am eager to utilize.
However, in addition to all this I
noticed that I started to build a new personality based on this new
status of mine. It was an experience that said: “Finally I am
someone!” or: “I am on my way to become someone!” or rather:
“Finally I have proven myself worthy to have access to the
resources that allow me to become someone! The great authorities have
accepted me! Ha ha!” Lol, and this is of course ridiculous, because
I define myself “more than” those who are not receiving a higher
level education, and I give my acceptance for this education system
that does not allow everyone with interest to study as much as they
want. So when I breathe and return myself to this reality, I can see
that I have simply passed a threshold in the imaginary competition
that takes place everywhere in the world – I have moved onto the
next level in The Game, which is not the equivalent of actual life
even though it takes place within it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to fear being “no one” and thus desire to be
“someone” as determined by an imaginary status/value assigned by
myself as I accept and allow the imaginary competition for a higher
status to exist through my own participation in it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to desire a higher status than that of a “nobody”
because I have feared losing the competition for status because
within the current man-made way of organizing the functions of the
world a low status means limited access to the resources and
activities of this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to desire a status which would allow me access to
the resources and activities I wish to take part in because I have
realized that there is no way to go around the current man-made
system of running the world and reacted with fear to this fact.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to participate in an education system that denies
the majority of the population access to higher degree education as
justified by the lack of funding - I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my desire to be
successful in this system counts as participating in the system and
thus giving my permission for it to exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the
current man-made way of organizing education is not the equivalent of
education, learning and teaching itself, but that it is just the way
education is regulated at the moment according to prevailing
principles.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe and perceive that I require the
recognition of the university authorities in order to be “somebody”
and to have access to higher degree education – and I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by
believing and perceiving this to be necessary I disregard the fact
that this only supports inequality and segregation as everyone is not
given the same access equally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to require recognition from an authority in order
to see value in myself and to recognize myself as capable of learning
and applying information.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to require validation of my learning abilities
from someone I perceive to be superior to me (university authorities
having “higher knowledge” or “wisdom”) in order to become an
active participant of this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to become helpless in front of the possibility
that I will not be accepted into university by believing and
perceiving that my actions would then be limited and that there's
“nothing I can do” if I am not granted access to the resources a
university offers, not seeing the possibilities that lie outside of
university.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to limit my actions with the belief that outside
of university I am unable to act.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that university
is just another man-made institution the purpose of which is to
organize information, and that university is not the equivalent of
information and knowledge itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe and perceive that once I get into
university I will be “different” because my status will then
“upgrade” - not seeing, realizing and understanding that in the
flesh I am the same whether I have this imaginary status or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted
and allowed myself to believe and perceive myself to have changed
because of my changed status, not stopping to breathe and realize
that I am just the same being as I was before this status upgrade.
I commit myself to not be fooled by
imaginary statuses by reminding myself that no matter the
opportunities and possibilities I am “granted” in the imaginary
competition for status, I am still of the one and same flesh and
breath as everyone else on this Earth.
I commit myself, when and as this newly
found personality of “student status” surfaces, to stop, breathe
and remind myself that as a physical being I am just the same as I
would be without this status, and that as a physical being I am one
with and equal to all that there is on Earth. I ask myself: “Who
would I be now if I didn't have the student status?” and I push
myself to answer in self-honesty. I continue my participation in this
reality within and as the realization that everyone and everything
around me is my equal.
I commit myself to work and study to
bring about an education system that will provide access to education
for all those interested in learning.
Ei kommentteja:
Lähetä kommentti